I promise till death we part (like in our vows)
by minachandler
Summary: Set post-4x07. Barry and Iris are both spooked by DeVoe, but that's not really what's on Iris's mind in the middle of the night. When Barry wakes up, they find themselves having a conversation that is long overdue.


The loft is quiet as Iris slips back into bed with Barry. The cold stillness of the night makes goosebumps erupt on her bare legs. She's in just her panties and one of Barry's grey hoodies that is definitely too big for her, and as she tugs a little at the comforter she holds her breath and groans inwardly when he starts to stir. Sure enough, moments later, his eyes flicker open, but somehow he still has a sleepy smile on his face as he opens his eyes properly.

"Sorry," she says. "I didn't mean to wake you..."

"'S'okay," he replies. "You all right?"

Iris sighs. "I mean, I should be asking you that. You're the one with a new nemesis who happens to be this impossibly intelligent mastermind." She pauses, reaches out and strokes his cheek. "I'm sorry."

Barry furrows his brow and turns on his side so he's leaning on his elbow, facing her. "For what, babe?"

"For not believing you. About DeVoe. I should have."

"Hey," he says softly, leaning in and kissing her forehead, "it's okay. I mean, I get it. I did… go overboard."

"Yeah, breaking into his house probably wasn't the best move," Iris says, nodding.

"Not to mention pretty illegal," Barry adds guiltily.

Iris smiles slightly. "Yeah, that didn't exactly help. But I get why you did it. Even if you probably should have worn a ski mask or something if you were going to do something like that."

He closes his eyes. "Yeah, that probably would have been a good call." Barry meets her eyes, searching them, and she can almost hear his brain ticking. "You didn't answer my question, by the way. Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she assures him, but he doesn't look convinced. "I was just thinking - about something I said earlier."

"About us having kids, you mean?"

Despite herself, Iris can't help but smile. "You know me too well."

"Look, I know we've talked about it before, more than a few times, but obviously you didn't mean straightaway, and I am absolutely willing to listen if you're not sure or you've changed your mind or you're having second thoughts -"

"No, definitely not," Iris says firmly. "Someday, sometime, in the bright and promising future that we have together, I will have our child. There is nothing in the _world_ that would make me happier, Barry, believe me."

And it's only then that she realises he suddenly has tears in his eyes, even as he smiles at her, and he turns away hastily so his back is to her and she can't see his face. Iris shuffles closer to him, until her face is pressed against his bare shoulder blade and her arms wind around his waist.

It's only then that Barry seems to regain some of his composure. "Yeah?" he whispers.

Her lips upturn automatically into a smile. "Yeah," she says. "Trust me. I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it." She feels his body relax against her, and most of the tension seems to leave his shoulders, so she doesn't really want to say what she says next. But she also knows she should. "I guess… us talking about starting a family - it made me remember the time I had a false positive."

He turns around instantly at that. "What? When? I don't remember - oh."

Iris nods resignedly. "Yeah. When you were in the Speedforce."

Barry takes her hand, squeezes it, then presses a kiss to her knuckles.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you," he says quietly.

But Iris tries to smile. "Kinda hard when you're lost in time. But, uh, it's fine. It was just a scare, that's all, about a month and a half after you disappeared. It wasn't like I was actually pregnant. I just thought I was. And only for a few days."

"Which can't have been easy." She doesn't say anything, and Barry adds, "Did you tell anyone?"

"Not on the team," she answers after a moment. "They needed me to be a leader."

"Please tell me you at least talked to Linda."

"Yeah, she was the first and only person I went to. And she… calmed me down. Reminded me to breathe. I had already done two tests and it had been a while since my last period, so I was convinced I was… and the thought made me feel - all kinds of things. Mostly, though, it was fear. Because how could I bring our child into the world when I thought that that child's father was gone forever?"

For the longest time he just gazes at her, looking exactly as lost as she felt back then. "I don't know, Iris," Barry says at last. "I wish I knew."

"But - listen. I - I didn't say that to make you feel bad, Bear."

He nods. "I know."

"I just… I want you to know that in the face of adversity it's okay to be afraid. To feel helpless. But even when I was terrified, back then, when I thought that I was having a baby without you... you know what kept me going? It was what you said. The last thing you said to me."

"Keep running," he says softly.

"Yeah. And I just think - maybe, with everything going on with DeVoe, it's time you took your own advice?"

Barry chuckles. "I hate to state the obvious, but I am -"

"- the fastest man alive, best CSI in Central City, my soulmate on every earth in the multiverse, yada yada." She tries to say that last bit nonchalantly but it's hard to maintain it when his eyes light up like that. "But I didn't mean like that. I meant what I said earlier. Live in the moment. Take every challenge as it comes and I promise, for better or worse, I'll be by your side. Okay?"

"Okay," he answers, breathing a visible sigh of relief, and Iris nods.

"Okay."

There's silence for a moment, the comfortable kind that Iris has been so used to with Barry in all the years they've known each other. "Can I tell you something?" Barry says eventually.

"You know you can tell me anything," she says.

"Sometimes… in my dreams - I have these - flashes. Of the time when I first came out of the Speedforce."

Iris nods. "I expected as much."

Barry raises his eyebrows. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want to push you. If you wanted to tell me, I knew you would do it in your own time."

And the smile he bestows on her is so full of gratitude, of understanding, of _amazement_ \- that it's impossible for her not to lean in and kiss him. He's surprised, but smiling still when she pulls away, her thumb still caressing his jaw.

"What?" he asks.

"Nothing… I just really love you."

She can feel his nose scrunch against hers as he kisses her this time, a little clumsily, but Iris doesn't care, especially when he leans his forehead against hers.

"Anyway… one of the things I remembered saying was - something about diapers."

"Yeah, you said we would need more of them. Actually, it made me think of the good old days, when we babysat for a while for that lady across the street from us - what was her name?"

"Can't remember. It was technically only your job. I just kept you company, mostly." After a moment, he adds thoughtfully, "I remember the baby's name, though. Little girl called Jenni."

"Jenni, yeah. She was sweet. And you were so good with her. You know what I know for sure, Barry Allen?" Iris says softly, placing her hand on his bare chest so she can feel the steady thump of his heartbeat beneath her palm.

"What?"

"When the day comes - and it will - I know you're gonna be the most amazing father to our child."

"Or children?" Barry says, smiling sheepishly, and she laughs.

"Who knows? Maybe we'll have twins one day. You know - after we get married, go on our honeymoon and settle down for a while -"

"This is all provided nothing goes wrong at the wedding - or after. It's not like bad guys love to crash anything happy that happens in our superhero lives or anything."

Iris shakes her head. "Uh-uh. You said it yourself. You and me - we're the gold standard. And after everything we've been through… we deserve to have what we want for once."

Barry reaches up, tucks her hair behind her ear. "Hey, wedding or not, you've gotta know - I'm yours regardless. Always have been, always will be. This is just - making it official. Telling the world that we finally got it all right. That I choose you."

"Our wedding isn't for another week, babe," Iris says teasingly. "Save your vows for then."

He smiles and shrugs. "You did yours for me all traditional months ago."

"Are you saying you don't want to write your own vow for me?" She tries not to pout, and then quickly adds, "We can always do traditional if you really want."

He laughs. "No, it's okay. But, uh, I'll probably have to do an abridged version for the actual ceremony. You can always read the full thing later."

"Full thing?" Iris's eyes widen a bit. "How long are we talking?"

Barry reaches up and scratches the back of his head while avoiding her gaze, but she doesn't need to see his bashful smile to know that it's there. "I'm on twenty pages and I'm nowhere near done."

And Iris just sighs fondly. "Trust you to outdo me as always, Barry."

"Hey, you haven't heard them yet. They could be awful for all you know. You're the writer, after all."

"Nope. Truthfully… half the sweet things you say to me on a daily basis are vows in themselves. Kinda hard to top."

This time, when he meets her eyes, she can see that his are suddenly so warm, his gaze filling her with heat and somehow simultaneously making her shiver. Barry kisses her, and she lets out a moan of protest when he pulls away after a few seconds. Iris's hands are on his bare shoulders as he kisses her neck, so she can feel his tongue dart out to lick at the hollow of her throat.

"How's this -" he says softly, "- whatever happens at our wedding next week… I need you to know this.

"Know what?" she breathes.

She can feel his deep intake of breath. "That I, Bartholomew Henry Allen -" Barry shifts a little so he's half on top of her, his breath warm against her cheek, and he looks into her eyes as he lifts the hem of her hoodie up a bit and his hand slips inside the elastic of her panties. Iris nods breathlessly, just as Barry slides his finger inside her and makes her gasp as arousal floods her, hot, wet and surprisingly intense, "- take you, Iris Ann West, to be my lawfully wedded wife."

"Yeah?" Iris tries to murmur with a smile, but she barely gets the word out before she's overcome with pleasure as Barry hits her weak spot. She knows then that she's not going to last long, especially when she feels Barry's other hand move from her thigh to her ass, and a second finger enters her.

"To have and to hold," he whispers, before leaning up and kissing her ear, "from this day forward, for better, for worse -"

He's teasing her now, with his gently vibrating fingers still inside her, and even though Iris can feel the hardness of Barry's own arousal insistent against her bare thigh - she knows he won't come until she has. Iris's hands both fist in his hair as she pulls him towards her for a kiss (because damn if this isn't all totally doing it for her, finally getting to hear him say those precious words to her when for so long she was convinced he wasn't alive to).

Only when she's kissed him so hard he's breathless and his fingers have come to a halt inside her does he finally pull away from her, closing his eyes, leaning his forehead against hers. "And I promise to you, Iris Ann West, that I will love you for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish… until death do us part."

And before she can say anything in reply, Barry ducks his head, withdrawing his fingers, and pulling off her panties. Iris spreads her thighs, letting him bury his face between her legs. Then he takes hold of both her legs so they go up and over his shoulders, pulling her even closer, so he can lick a molten trail on her sensitive flesh, setting her on fire and making her bite down on her lip to stop herself crying out.

It doesn't take much - it never has, really - and soon the heels of her bare feet are easing a little in the friction they're creating on his back, Barry's name still hot and sweet on her tongue. When Iris's feels her hips shudder to a halt she moves her legs off Barry's shoulders, so she's lying half underneath him once more. She feels him shift upwards a bit, pushing up the hem of her hoodie a little more to reveal her stomach, so he can press his face against her abdomen.

Reaching down, Iris touches Barry's cheek and sighs contentedly. "Have I ever told you how happy you make me?" she says softly.

There's a gentle warm hum against her skin when he speaks.

"You have. But it's - always nice to hear. In, uh, every way possible." He says this last teasingly, and even if she can't see his face she can feel his lips upturn into a smile against tummy. But after a moment it fades and Barry says quietly, "I wish I could promise you something else - a few things, actually. Like… everyone RSVPing in good time, our rehearsal dinner and ceremony going off without a hitch, no interruptions..."

"No wardrobe malfunctions," Iris adds.

But at this Barry raises his head. "Babe, I would literally marry you in that hoodie. Which looks great on you, by the way." And now Iris can't resist taking hold of his shoulders and pulling him up so he is on top of her. He's so hard for her, and she can feel his need pressing into her thigh through the scant clothing Barry still has on.

"Ah, so this look is totally doing it for you, huh?" she says, reaching down, past the waistband of his boxers, making him groan.

"You are literally the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on, Iris," Barry breathes. "Doesn't matter what you wear." And when he looks into her eyes as she tugs down the last garment that separates them, Iris really, truly believes him. After a second, though, he adds nonchalantly, "But yeah, okay. It totally does _everything_ for me."

Her hands go up his back, starting from the base of his spine, fingers splaying upwards until she reaches his shoulder blades. When she murmurs in assent the sensation of Barry lowering himself onto her, filling her, groaning softly, feels so fucking _good_ that she can't believe she's ever lived without it. And somehow he's kissing her neck and her cheek and then her lips, and she gasps when there's a spark of electricity that passes between his hand and her upper arm.

"You all right?" Barry asks immediately.

Iris kisses him in answer, grabbing the backs of his thighs to bring him closer to her, and she swallows his moan as he gets close. She can tell he's holding back, though, so after a second she breaks off the kiss to say, "It's okay, babe."

She feels him still inside her. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. I want you to."

And it's strange, so strange, that as they start to move together again Iris delights this much in hearing, seeing, feeling Barry slowly fall apart because of what _she_ is doing to him just with a press of her hips and the scrape of her teeth into his bare shoulder when he hits a particularly sensitive spot inside her. It puts her on this high, filling her with this ecstasy that is impossible to replicate because it's just him and her, like they're suddenly the only two people in the world. She sighs contentedly when he reaches his climax, burying his face into her neck so that his groans are muffled a little.

And it's messy and imperfect not exactly dignified, and Iris can feel droplets of sweat trickling down her neck and back, but truthfully? She wouldn't have it any other way.

After all… he's always been hers.


End file.
